Remember Us
by HobbitatHogwarts
Summary: Sherlock stands outside of 221B Baker St. and reflects on what three years has taken from him. Post Reichenbach. JohnLock.


**I'm not sure about this one... I almost didn't post it, because I don't think it's good enough. But I've decided to put it up temporarily and see how it does. I have the complete power to remove it though! **

**YOU MUST LISTEN TO GOODBYE MY LOVER WHILE READING. It's by James Blunt. I've taken some liberties with the song, cutting out the first verse and first chorus and the end. It's my fanfic so I can do what I want. Thank you Laura for sort of editing this. **

**I don't own Sherlock or Goodbye My Lover blah blah blah yeah we get it, now go read.**

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_I am a dreamer and when I wake,_

_You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take. _

It was another rainy day in London. The rain pattered down so heavily, that people took out umbrellas or ducked into shops to avoid it. All except for one man, who stood in the middle of the street, in front of a dark blue door. His coat wasn't doing much to protect him from the rain; his dark hair was plastered to his face and his coat was beginning to look heavy. But he paid no attention to it and just stared at the door. Sherlock Holmes was believed to be dead. But here he was, three years after his suicide, standing in front of his old home, but not daring to go in. He wasn't ready yet. He knew who was in that house.

_And as you move on, remember me,_

_Remember us and all we used to be_

_John_. His John. His partner. His best friend. His lover. Three years without him and now Sherlock was only a couple of metres away and he couldn't go through with it. He had hurt John. He had jumped. And Sherlock didn't know if John wanted him back. He had spied John in the company of some of his old girlfriends. It hurt Sherlock like hell. But it was what he deserved. John thought he was dead.

_I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile. _

_I've watched you sleeping for a while. _

_I'd be the father of your child. _

_I'd spend a lifetime with you. _

_I know your fears and you know mine. _

_We've had our doubts but now we're fine,_

_And I love you, I swear that's true. _

All those times he had spent with John, rushed back to him. All the times they had laughed till their stomachs hurt. All the times they had kissed. All the times they had made love. All the times he had comforted John after his nightmares. All the times John had comforted him when he felt alone. That one time when they had talked about getting married and adopting kids. And all the times he had told John he loved him. And yet he hadn't said it enough.

_I cannot live without you. _

The last three years passed through his mind. They were just filled with pain and suffering. He had been so alone. The only person he had was Molly and although she was wonderful, he missed the company of his old friends. He missed the company of Lestrade, Sally, even Anderson. He missed Mrs. Hudson screaming at him about his experiments. He missed John. He knew now that he could never be apart from his doctor again. He couldn't do it. This had practically ripped him apart. All the waiting, waiting for the right time to return. And it was now.

_Goodbye my lover. _

_Goodbye my friend. _

_You have been the one. _

_You have been the one for me. _

_Goodbye my lover._

_Goodbye my friend._

_You have been the one._

_You have been the one for me. _

Saying goodbye to John had been the worst. Seeing his face, the look of disbelief as he left his note, nearly made him not jump. But he had to do it. John had to be safe. It was the only way. But his face was forever branded in his memory. It pained him everyday, to think that he caused him pain. Watching him at the grave was the worst decision of his life. He had nearly broken down. He never made that mistake again.

_And I still hold your hand in mine. _

_In mine when I'm asleep._

He had never dreamed before that fateful day when he died. But after that, he dreamed every night. About the fall, about Moriarty, about John. He always woke up crying and reaching across the bed for someone who was not there. Who was never there.

_And I will bare my soul in time, _

_When I'm kneeling at your feet. _

If he didn't do it now, he never would. He took a deep breath in and closed his eyes. The rain fell around him drenching him even more then before. He had to face John. He would beg, kneel if I had to. He needed him back. His eyes snapped open. He strode towards the door of 221B Baker St. and wrenched it open.


End file.
